Construction Zone

It's been a little over a week since I posted. I've been really busy with some house craziness. This may end up being a long story. Sorry about that!

It all started last Friday. Our ac unit has been leaking all summer. I've been putting pans under it and towels. It's been staying dry, except the first few days when I didn't realize it was leaking. But the carpet smelled mildewy and the floor felt weak over there so when I found some random peel and stick tiles I decided to pull up the carpet in that corner and put the tiles down. We have been planning on redoing the floor for  a few months anyways. Buying one box at a time so I figured we wouldn't have to deal with the funny corner for long. When I pulled up the carpet this is what I found.

A hole in my floor and mold on the floor and up the wall. I was in shock, I didn't think that the couple of days of water could do this.

Let me take a step back. We are buying this house from my Twoey, Lou. She took care of the lady who lived here and when she passed; the lady left every thing to Lou. Fast forward about 4 years and we decide we're done with renting in the city and want to buy a house. We look in the city but can't find anything we love, in  the school districts we want or close enough to my job. It just wasn't meshing. We would toy with the idea of moving here almost every year, but turn it down for various reasons. We decided to look for jobs up here and go from there. Almost right away my husband got his job. The job he still has and loves so much. It seemed perfect. Close to my family, small town, good schools. Lou offered to let us rent the house. We could either rent it for years and then find a house we liked better or rent to own it, once we reached a set price we would own the house. That's the option we took, we will have our house paid off in about 10 years. Then we can either tear this place down and put one we like better up or sell or whatever we want in 10 years. It was win-win for everyone.

When we first went to move in I hated the paint and carpet. I wanted to tear it up, repaint and make it my own. My parents thought that was silly, a waste of money if we were just going to tear this house down and put up one of our own in a few years. Although the soonest we could see doing it was 5 but still they reasoned, why waste the money. I can be very impractical at times, I make emotional decisions. So I was trying very hard to be practical about all of this. My son was only 2 1/2 at the time, surely he would spill , color on the walls and such so why not have it be on a carpet I didn't care about and walls that I disliked?

I wish now I would have just done it then, I  wouldn't be in the mess I am now. We didn't have an inspection on the house. I didn't think it was necessary, neither did my parents so this mold issue was totally unknown.

 The whole space ran about 5 1/2 by 6 feet. Up the walls and down the into the insulation. This was more than a one summer kind of deal. My brother lived here before me and confirmed that the ac leaked for him too. So who knows how long this has been happening.

 What the my floors look like without floors.

 That's about how high up the wall the mold went. It went a little further down.

 I'm trying to be thankful for this. At least we caught it now and the mold didn't spread everywhere. My parents have been so great, paying for the repairs and new floor. I'm getting rid of the old carpet everywhere but the bedrooms (for now) and I am painting! They have been so great about it all, despite their separation. And I've hardly sat down all week. From running to stores, to tearing up carpet and stripping paint, repairing holes in the wall and prepping the floor.

There has been some bad to it, like my front porch looks awful. My entertainment center had some mold too so out it goes. We will get it all to the dump once we're done with this so we only have to do it once. I've eaten like crap. With all the running around and the fact that my couches are in my kitchen right now I've eaten out alot. I've let this be an excuse to drink tons of soda. It's hard to stop. I didn't weigh in  yesterday. I honestly can't handle it right now. I'm just trying to reign myself in and stop now. It's only been a week, give or take a few days, of really bad eating. I don't want it to be come 2 then a month then all my weight is back.

I can't put my new floor in until Wednesday when I get back from work. So my house gets to stay in this mini chaos for a little longer. But I'm over the excuses, I can cook at home. I have a crock pot so I don't have to worry about my couches catching on fire. I can make sandwiches, or eat fruit and veggies. I have choices that don't consist of "Do you want to super-size that?" And I need to stop seeing the obstacles in front of me as reasons for eating like crap.

Weigh In 9/13

So happy to be home, I can't even explain how nice it has been lately to only be working 3 days a week. Well maybe not money wise but sanity wise it has been. Tuesday was a crazy day at work. It went by so quick though. I love days like that. Busy that I'm constantly moving but I can still take a few breaks and eat before I leave.

I had to take my bugg off for a few hours on Monday and didn't have the cord to manually input anything so I think I probably at least met my deficit for that day regardless of what it says. I probably made up for it Tuesday with a deficit of 1689 anyways.

I didn't record my calories yesterday. Which has become all too common lately. I can come up with all the excuses but the truth is I was just being  lazy. I don't have the best memory so it was hard to guess what I may have eaten yesterday and how much. I think this is the 3rd time for the weigh week that I have done this. Which probably explains my weight this week.

175...still

I'm a little frustrated, I haven't lost much in the past few weeks. I just need to kick it back into gear. I need to stop taking little handfuls of things or just not recording my intake for the day.  I'm sure there will be a day when I don't have to think so much about what I eat but I'm not there yet an d really want to get there.

Got the mean guy again. I have to loose 2 pounds a week to meet my first goal. I'm not sure that I will but as long as I come close I will be happy and proud.

Sad day and some pictures

Yesterday was a really hard, long and sad day. Started out like every Sunday and my 2 hour drive to work. I get up at 3:30 and am ready for a nap by the time I get to work. I slept like crap the night before and just wasn't feel the whole work thing. It wasn't really a busy day, but stupid things kept happening with beds and we had some family members that needed more care than the patients. We had a lot of sitters so I was giving everyone breaks, one paitient in particular started to get really agitated. No one was around to help me and the patient ended up punching me in the jaw while I was holding his bi-pap on. He kinda needed it and ended up calming down but my face hurt. 

Go to the end of my shift when I get this text from my mom "Can I call you". This is the same text message she sent me when she told me my parents were splitting, the same one when my papa was in the hospital and dying, the same one when my brother crashed his car and ended up in the ICU. This is not a good text. So I called, expecting bad. She told me she had to put my 13 year old dog down. He had diabetes, his pancreas totally shut down and he started vomiting blood. I know he was a dog but I love him. He was so very special to me...I can't even right now. 

Anyways yesterday sucked. But I met my deficit. 

Total deficit of 1257 and I got in all my waters.

Total burn of 2777

I thought I'd lighten up this post with a few pictures of me. I've been meaning to post some for a while but here we go.

 So this is just a regular, everyday outfit. My shorts are actually kinda baggy but I like them. The last one is me showing off my mad tan from the bugg.

What I wore to my interview a few weeks ago. I don't really see a big change in this but people at work have been commenting so hopefully there is a bit of a difference.

This is a goal outfit. I have a few but this is the only one I've taken pictures in. I use to wear this all the time in high school. I will have to see if I can find pictures. Anyways I think I will take a picture in this every 10 pounds or so I loose. Just to see the difference too. 

Well off to bed for me. I almost fell asleep waiting for the pictures to load.

Just Going With It

I've been pretty busy the last few days. Lately it feels like I don't even really get days off. Between stuff around the house, helping out my family with projects and just life, I've had little down time. It's nice in a way but I could use some just me time.

I forgot my scale at work my last rotation so all the food I ate Wed-Sat was guessed by me. That always makes me nervous. I actually do really well with my meats. When I'm getting them ready to eat I can usually get it within an 1/8 of an ounce. But other things I'm not that great with. Fruit is really hard for me and so are vegetables. When I don't have my scale I usually try to do it by size, but I know that one medium apple can very greatly from apple to apple. It just bugs me. Then again I don't want to weigh every single thing I eat for the rest of my life so I guess it's something I will have to get use to.

Anyways here's what I ate and burned the last few days. This my be TMI but it's part of my life; since I'm on my period I am not really that hungry. I actually find myself going oh I haven't eaten yet today or did I eat anything since lunch as 8 pm rolls around. I need to try and be better because I've had such a big deficit almost every day for the past week (minus wed where I was a little less than 200 over). I just don't know if that is healthy. I don't do it on purpose. I'm not trying to aim for such things, it's just how it's been lately. So I'm just going with it. I feel more energetic as of late, even though my sleep has been less.

I thought for sure both of these days I'd go over. I had a little over 1400 deficit each day though. Hopefully that will be a good buffer for anything I just guessed weight on. Finally got all my water for a day, just to follow up with only 2 bottles the next. I'm a work in progress for sure.

Deficit of 1622 this day. Once again I hope it balances out the cheese on my cheese crisp.

I really feel this urge to run lately. I've been doing some leg strengthening exercises for almost 2 weeks now. Today it feels a little sore, some sharp pains espcecially with pressure ( Like lifiting a patient or pushing a bed by myself). Makes me a little nervous that I'm not going to get to start running on Wednesday. Just gotta go with this too, must be the theme of my life right now.

Weigh In 9.6 & a run update

Yesterday was a hard day for me. I had to stay an extra night out of town for a 45 minute mandatory meeting at work. I know that doesn't seem like much but the meeting didn't start until 3:30 so I spent a whole day away from home for pretty much nothing. I felt really moody and down all day. I made the mistake of promising my son we could go to McDonald's so he could play. He asks all the time and I always say no. I thought it would be a nice change for him. I didn't think that I'd be eating dinner out too.

I did good for lunch, only getting a kids meal. I felt statisfied after and had a lot of fun watching my son run around. After the meeting I felt even more frustrated. I hate that I have to stay for things like this. I do try and be positive, at least I have a job to waste my time right? Traffic was awful going to pick X up. I wasn't use to the area and didn't plan for that. He really wanted a corn dog for dinner and Sonic happened to be the only place I passed on the way. I had looked at my Bugg and thought I had plenty of calories so I just decided to get whatever sounded good. I got a burger which ended up as a cheeseburger, large tots and a large drink. I shouldn't have even done the tots. They were too much and I felt full before I even started eating them. For some reason I insisted and ate almost all of them. I need to just listen to my body and not order so much.

Anyways I didn't meet my deficit for the day but it happens, I was close so I feel ok about it.

Burned 2671

A deficit of only 821 and I only drank 2 bottles of water. Not my finest day.

I figured my weight might not be so great today because of all the sodium and such from yesterday. Plus I happen to be on my period (sorry if that's TMI) so that always makes my weight go up a bit. I weighed in at 175. Only down .2 from last week. I wonder if it will be much different tomorrow.

Got the mean guy again but I hope to make up for it next week.

As for running, you might have noticed I haven't been talking about it. That's because I haven't been running. It's really frustrating to me because my knee is definitely bothering me. I went back to the doctor and she thinks that it is more a weakness in muscle than anything else. So I'm trying to build up the muscles in my legs and knees to see if that helps. So far I've noticed a difference in that my knee doesn't hurt every day after work. It use to hurt most days but I don't know if this is because of my break from running or not. I'm bummed because my 5k was supposed to be a month from today. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to run it still or not. I will decide after I run next week. If that goes well and I'm able to get my mileage up then I will. If not then I will do one in November. I just want to make sure I can do this right. I know if I hurt my knee alot of this weight will come back.  Anyone been through something like this?

A little less drama please

I've never been one of those girls who wanted drama. Let me explain a little better, I've never been the type of girl who likes drama in my own life. Drama in someone else's life is fine, I do find some amazement in the things other people do. But I don't want that in my life, I've always been one that if it works for someone else so be it. Maybe not my cup of tea but that's all good.

I've had more drama the last year or so than I think I have my whole life. A friend at work described it perfectly by saying that I use to be boring, she could guess what I'd say I did over the weekend all the time. But since I moved I've had new drama almost every week.

So it's no surprise that something came up this week. Yesterday morning I was getting ready for work when I heard my husband's cousin crying. I peek in her room to see what's up and she says she is moving to a different state and flying out tomorrow. Oh and she's so stressed about it she can't watch my son that day. I was floored. The move was news to me so I asked how long she's been planning this and she responded with "since like 9 last night, that's why I'm so stressed", with a "duh" look on her face. Mind you I was minutes from walking out the door and now I have no sitter.I quickly start calling anyone I can and luckily had a friend who happened to live on my way to work who could watch him. I wasn't even late.

It threw my whole day off though. I felt edgy and bad that I had to mess up my son's routine even more. I wanted to eat. Plus we had all sorts of goodies, nachos, fries, popcorn. All my weaknesses. But I did not cave once. Not even when I didn't get my lunch (again) and ran into the break room to make my sandwich. I so just wanted to add a bunch of chips. I probably could've used the calories to be honest but I didn't want them just because I was hungry but because I was emotional. This feels like progress. I know it's just one day but sometimes that one day is the start of many more. But a little less drama would be nice.

Total burned 2978

Total deficit of 1638. And I'm tracking my water now too because I feel like I drink so much water. Tracking it day by day I've been surprised so far that I don't drink as much as I thought.

Yesterday was a decent day. Work was steady busy. I didn't get to sit down and eat my lunch but I did get to eat so it was ok.  I got to work with some great people I haven't seen in a long time. A few of them even meantioned that it looked like I was looaing weight. It's kinda nice to hear, especially since I have only lost a tenth of what I hope to.
I met my burn goal and had a total deficit of 1641. Todays post is just gonna be short and sweet, its been a stressful day and I am so just ready for bed.