Just Going With It

I've been pretty busy the last few days. Lately it feels like I don't even really get days off. Between stuff around the house, helping out my family with projects and just life, I've had little down time. It's nice in a way but I could use some just me time.

I forgot my scale at work my last rotation so all the food I ate Wed-Sat was guessed by me. That always makes me nervous. I actually do really well with my meats. When I'm getting them ready to eat I can usually get it within an 1/8 of an ounce. But other things I'm not that great with. Fruit is really hard for me and so are vegetables. When I don't have my scale I usually try to do it by size, but I know that one medium apple can very greatly from apple to apple. It just bugs me. Then again I don't want to weigh every single thing I eat for the rest of my life so I guess it's something I will have to get use to.

Anyways here's what I ate and burned the last few days. This my be TMI but it's part of my life; since I'm on my period I am not really that hungry. I actually find myself going oh I haven't eaten yet today or did I eat anything since lunch as 8 pm rolls around. I need to try and be better because I've had such a big deficit almost every day for the past week (minus wed where I was a little less than 200 over). I just don't know if that is healthy. I don't do it on purpose. I'm not trying to aim for such things, it's just how it's been lately. So I'm just going with it. I feel more energetic as of late, even though my sleep has been less.

I thought for sure both of these days I'd go over. I had a little over 1400 deficit each day though. Hopefully that will be a good buffer for anything I just guessed weight on. Finally got all my water for a day, just to follow up with only 2 bottles the next. I'm a work in progress for sure.

Deficit of 1622 this day. Once again I hope it balances out the cheese on my cheese crisp.

I really feel this urge to run lately. I've been doing some leg strengthening exercises for almost 2 weeks now. Today it feels a little sore, some sharp pains espcecially with pressure ( Like lifiting a patient or pushing a bed by myself). Makes me a little nervous that I'm not going to get to start running on Wednesday. Just gotta go with this too, must be the theme of my life right now.

Weigh In 9.6 & a run update

Yesterday was a hard day for me. I had to stay an extra night out of town for a 45 minute mandatory meeting at work. I know that doesn't seem like much but the meeting didn't start until 3:30 so I spent a whole day away from home for pretty much nothing. I felt really moody and down all day. I made the mistake of promising my son we could go to McDonald's so he could play. He asks all the time and I always say no. I thought it would be a nice change for him. I didn't think that I'd be eating dinner out too.

I did good for lunch, only getting a kids meal. I felt statisfied after and had a lot of fun watching my son run around. After the meeting I felt even more frustrated. I hate that I have to stay for things like this. I do try and be positive, at least I have a job to waste my time right? Traffic was awful going to pick X up. I wasn't use to the area and didn't plan for that. He really wanted a corn dog for dinner and Sonic happened to be the only place I passed on the way. I had looked at my Bugg and thought I had plenty of calories so I just decided to get whatever sounded good. I got a burger which ended up as a cheeseburger, large tots and a large drink. I shouldn't have even done the tots. They were too much and I felt full before I even started eating them. For some reason I insisted and ate almost all of them. I need to just listen to my body and not order so much.

Anyways I didn't meet my deficit for the day but it happens, I was close so I feel ok about it.

Burned 2671

A deficit of only 821 and I only drank 2 bottles of water. Not my finest day.

I figured my weight might not be so great today because of all the sodium and such from yesterday. Plus I happen to be on my period (sorry if that's TMI) so that always makes my weight go up a bit. I weighed in at 175. Only down .2 from last week. I wonder if it will be much different tomorrow.

Got the mean guy again but I hope to make up for it next week.

As for running, you might have noticed I haven't been talking about it. That's because I haven't been running. It's really frustrating to me because my knee is definitely bothering me. I went back to the doctor and she thinks that it is more a weakness in muscle than anything else. So I'm trying to build up the muscles in my legs and knees to see if that helps. So far I've noticed a difference in that my knee doesn't hurt every day after work. It use to hurt most days but I don't know if this is because of my break from running or not. I'm bummed because my 5k was supposed to be a month from today. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to run it still or not. I will decide after I run next week. If that goes well and I'm able to get my mileage up then I will. If not then I will do one in November. I just want to make sure I can do this right. I know if I hurt my knee alot of this weight will come back.  Anyone been through something like this?

A little less drama please

I've never been one of those girls who wanted drama. Let me explain a little better, I've never been the type of girl who likes drama in my own life. Drama in someone else's life is fine, I do find some amazement in the things other people do. But I don't want that in my life, I've always been one that if it works for someone else so be it. Maybe not my cup of tea but that's all good.

I've had more drama the last year or so than I think I have my whole life. A friend at work described it perfectly by saying that I use to be boring, she could guess what I'd say I did over the weekend all the time. But since I moved I've had new drama almost every week.

So it's no surprise that something came up this week. Yesterday morning I was getting ready for work when I heard my husband's cousin crying. I peek in her room to see what's up and she says she is moving to a different state and flying out tomorrow. Oh and she's so stressed about it she can't watch my son that day. I was floored. The move was news to me so I asked how long she's been planning this and she responded with "since like 9 last night, that's why I'm so stressed", with a "duh" look on her face. Mind you I was minutes from walking out the door and now I have no sitter.I quickly start calling anyone I can and luckily had a friend who happened to live on my way to work who could watch him. I wasn't even late.

It threw my whole day off though. I felt edgy and bad that I had to mess up my son's routine even more. I wanted to eat. Plus we had all sorts of goodies, nachos, fries, popcorn. All my weaknesses. But I did not cave once. Not even when I didn't get my lunch (again) and ran into the break room to make my sandwich. I so just wanted to add a bunch of chips. I probably could've used the calories to be honest but I didn't want them just because I was hungry but because I was emotional. This feels like progress. I know it's just one day but sometimes that one day is the start of many more. But a little less drama would be nice.

Total burned 2978

Total deficit of 1638. And I'm tracking my water now too because I feel like I drink so much water. Tracking it day by day I've been surprised so far that I don't drink as much as I thought.

Yesterday was a decent day. Work was steady busy. I didn't get to sit down and eat my lunch but I did get to eat so it was ok.  I got to work with some great people I haven't seen in a long time. A few of them even meantioned that it looked like I was looaing weight. It's kinda nice to hear, especially since I have only lost a tenth of what I hope to.
I met my burn goal and had a total deficit of 1641. Todays post is just gonna be short and sweet, its been a stressful day and I am so just ready for bed.

Still going strong... I think- Weigh In 8/30

I've been super busy this past week. A whole lot of boring things and lots of running errands. I met my burn goal everyday at least until Friday and Saturday.

I felt like I had been doing good all week, making good choices like dinner on Thursday. We grilled these monster steaks and instead of trying to down the whole thing with my sides and a soda, I got a reasonable portion and ate until I was full. At least I'm making some progress.

What I use to try and eat

What I ended up eating but only 1/2 the corn

Friday I met up with one mom to go to lunch to celebrate my tentative job offer. It is a home owned place so they don't have their calories online or anything. I tried to be good and got Mesquit Chicken and fruit. I probably ate more than a true portion of chicken. I automatically ordered a soda. I don't know why because I didn't really enjoy it and only drank about 1/4 of it. I find I just do some things by habit. Anyways I think it was OK, I tried to overestimate how many calories I ate. It just bugs be when I don't know for sure.

Saturday was different. I was good in the morning then we ran into Target. I hadn't slept well and my husband knew I was tired. Trying to be nice he got me a Starbucks. I couldn't just throw it out and it was really nice of him. I figured it would be ok, I would just work it into my day. That night was my mom's birthday party. I knew we were having Frito pie and that was hard to pass up but I just had some chili instead. I hoped I had figured out the calories right, that is something I have a hard time with. Figuring out how many calories are in a portion of something I cook, like lasagna or meatloaf.

I already planned on skipping cake but caved and had a few bites. I tried not to feel guilty and just move on. Then we went to go leave and my son flipped out. Screaming, yelling, stomping his feet the whole deal. He's never done this and everyone just stared. I left me feeling like a failure. When we finally got home I just felt so sad and empty. We had some pizza leftover that my husband had gotten. I ate two pieces and a soda. I don't know why I think that will help matters. Then I felt like even more of a failure and went to bed.

Work yesterday was good. I felt hungry all day no matter what so that part was hard but I ended up having a huge defiect anyways...

Burned 3039. It always amazes me when I see a 3...

Total deficit of 1804....seriously I don't plan this. Also can we take a moment to appreciate that I wrote April 2 and it took me this long to realize it was wrong...

I'll end this with my weight from Thursday- 175.2! Down another 1.4 pounds. Met my goal for the week although I[m stilll a little behind on my first mini goal....which is coming up the end of this month!

Ready for a few days off.

I can't even explain how tired I am right now. I am so happy I decided not to work overtime this week. I have to work monday and since it's a holiday I get paid extra. It also means I have a greater chance of getting canceled, which means any overtime I work doesn't count. Basically it sucks if I get canceled and I've worked overtime.

Yesterday was the easiest day of my rotation. It was busy like the day before but I was working with much better people. It's amazing how that can make such a huge difference. There was still a huge abundance of cake and cookies. I'm so glad I don't have much  of a sweet tooth because this would be really hard. I find it so easy to ignore things like that at work, I can get away from it and focus on something else. I really need to figure out how to do that at home.

Burned 2776.

Total deficit of 1646

I really don't plan on having such a huge deficit. I eat when I'm hungry at work, rarely am I starving. And when that happens it's because I'm too busy to go on time. I don't want anyone to look at this and think I'm going overboard or undereating in the extreme. It's just kinda the way it works out. If I were hungrier I would eat more. And I do tend to make up for it on my days off.

Back in the right direction

Honestly after the past few days I've had and the way I've handled it (the way I've eaten and been pretty lazy) would have left me going screw it. Especially because today was tomato basil soup day at work...and of course they have stacks of grilled cheese to go with it. Especially because a patient's family member keeps bringing in cookies. Where is it written that the fastest way to a nurses heart is through candy, cakes and sugar? Because it is totally true. Five of us can demolish a box of See's candy in 2 minutes flat.

You catch my drift though, I had ample opportunity to go overboard. I didn't though and that makes me feel pretty good. It's not that one grilled cheese is going to be the end of me. On a good week I could splurge and probably still loose weight. I think there is room in my diet for a cookie once a week, heck once a day if I wanted. But I don't. I would rather spend my calories on other things. Plus this has been a bad week and I really need to buckle down.

Yesterday was busy. I did not have a good group of people to work and it went by super slow even though I was running around crazy. That seems to defy logic, alas it was my reality. I didn't want to get super hungry so I made myself eat my snacks and take a lunch (15 minutes but still). You'd think this would help with snacking but it was almost harder because everyone was shoving cookies at me. Anyways I made it and had a deficit and for that I am thankful.

Deficit of 1426

Barely met my burn goal at 2801