Ready for a few days off.

I can't even explain how tired I am right now. I am so happy I decided not to work overtime this week. I have to work monday and since it's a holiday I get paid extra. It also means I have a greater chance of getting canceled, which means any overtime I work doesn't count. Basically it sucks if I get canceled and I've worked overtime.

Yesterday was the easiest day of my rotation. It was busy like the day before but I was working with much better people. It's amazing how that can make such a huge difference. There was still a huge abundance of cake and cookies. I'm so glad I don't have much  of a sweet tooth because this would be really hard. I find it so easy to ignore things like that at work, I can get away from it and focus on something else. I really need to figure out how to do that at home.

Burned 2776.

Total deficit of 1646

I really don't plan on having such a huge deficit. I eat when I'm hungry at work, rarely am I starving. And when that happens it's because I'm too busy to go on time. I don't want anyone to look at this and think I'm going overboard or undereating in the extreme. It's just kinda the way it works out. If I were hungrier I would eat more. And I do tend to make up for it on my days off.

Back in the right direction

Honestly after the past few days I've had and the way I've handled it (the way I've eaten and been pretty lazy) would have left me going screw it. Especially because today was tomato basil soup day at work...and of course they have stacks of grilled cheese to go with it. Especially because a patient's family member keeps bringing in cookies. Where is it written that the fastest way to a nurses heart is through candy, cakes and sugar? Because it is totally true. Five of us can demolish a box of See's candy in 2 minutes flat.

You catch my drift though, I had ample opportunity to go overboard. I didn't though and that makes me feel pretty good. It's not that one grilled cheese is going to be the end of me. On a good week I could splurge and probably still loose weight. I think there is room in my diet for a cookie once a week, heck once a day if I wanted. But I don't. I would rather spend my calories on other things. Plus this has been a bad week and I really need to buckle down.

Yesterday was busy. I did not have a good group of people to work and it went by super slow even though I was running around crazy. That seems to defy logic, alas it was my reality. I didn't want to get super hungry so I made myself eat my snacks and take a lunch (15 minutes but still). You'd think this would help with snacking but it was almost harder because everyone was shoving cookies at me. Anyways I made it and had a deficit and for that I am thankful.

Deficit of 1426

Barely met my burn goal at 2801

My emotions got the best of me

I think I will just start from Thursday and  work my way forward. I meantioned on Friday that I just didn't feel up to posting on Thursday. I woke up and was just not in the mood to do anything. I get blue here and there, especially when I do as much ot as I have been. Coming home to my chores knowing I only have a few days at home before turning around to go back to work just gets to me. The house never seems to stay clean, it always seems to be a mess when I come home. My husband picks up after himself but I just seem to find things I have to do. It just makes me sad. So most of Thursday I just tried to power through it and clean. I got most of it done and relaxed with my son some.

That afternoon Matt came home and we set off to town. He had a meeting and I need to go to the grocery store. His meeting was down the street from Fry's so it made sense to just go together. We had some time to kill so we stopped by the mall. This is where my day started to take a turn for the better. Matt knew I was down so he got a me an Orange Julius without me even asking. I love me some Orange Julius. I knew I could fit the calories into my day so it was all good. Then he had a coupon for the daycare at the mall so we dropped X off and went Lunar golfing. It's basically glow in the dark mini golf. It was so much fun.

My shoes at Lunar golf

Matt's hat. Go Kings Go!

By then it was time for Matt's meeting so I dropped him off and went to Fry's with X. He screamed the entire ride to the store because he didn't want to leave Matt. I was able to calm him down before we went in but he just kept throwing fit after fit in the store. Screaming at the top of his lungs. People stopped and stared. I use to wonder how kids could throw fits like that and why their parents didn't have control. It was so hard, I wanted to lay down and cry. X just wasn't happy with anything. Plus Matt's meeting went late and the ice cream I got him melted in my trunk. But I didn't binge once. I ended up with a deficit of 1330. I was proud I had made it so far with  my emotional eating.

I was wrong to think that I wouldn't even emotional eat again and life was quick to show me this. Friday morning was good. I built a tent with X and we went camping. I even made room in my calorie count for smores. I was having a good morning. Then my mom called. I've meantioned my parents are going through a nasty separation. They don't get along but want things to be friendly so they feel the need to get together for lunch and dinner. Just to fight and make things worse. Thursday morning they got togheter for breakfast, fought and my mom stormed out. She drove like a mad women and ended up getting into a crash. Her car is probably totalled but she seemed to be fine. Just a little sore. I was handling this ok. It stresses me out when they fight, I don't want to pick sides and just want them to leave well enough alone. It makes me angry that my mom keeps putting herself in these situations. In the last month she has driven under the influence, broken a lot of collectubles cutting her hand in the process and well you get the point. She has a lot to live for and needs to stop being so wreckless. I know it's easy for me to say, I'm not in her shoes. But I'm tired of it. So I let my emotions take control and made popcorn and drizzled butter on. I didn't eat much, I realized I wasn't enjoying it. But I ate more than I should have even after I realized it wasn't good.

Fast forward to Friday afternoon. I was getting ready to go to Matt's hockey game when my mom calls again. She tells me the same story and is talking about things that have already happened like months in the past, like a trip to New York. I immediatly get worried. She had complained of a headache earlier and said she threw up yesterday but that she had the flu. I didn't second guess her but now I was. It sounded like she had a concussion. Then my younger brother called saying mom was acting weird and he was worried. I sped over to my moms and forced her to go to the ER. I didn't want X to see all of this and luckily my grandmom showed up. I ended up going to Matt's game because I didn't have anyone to watch X. I drank a huge Starbucks and ate nasty fast food. Way more calories than I needed. I just didn't want to think and took what was easy.

I found out later that night my mom took a few too many sleeping pills. She says not to hurt herself, just to sleep a few days. I've been suggestion consuling just because she had been through so much. But she won't go. I was up most of the night and ended up staying with my mom to make she was ok.

Saturday my mom seemed better and admently denied even taking any pills. Which worries me even more because if what she told me the night before was true it wasn't a huge deal. Her denying it makes it seem like there was more to it. I spent most of the day with her, she had to grocery shop and run some errands. I didn't want her driving because she was still dizzy so I drove her. She felt bad and tries to make things up by getting me things. So she got me a starbucks and pizza. I didn't want to upset her by saying no. I know I'm going to have to someday, I just didn't feel like yesterday was the day. After that I took her up to my grandmoms to spend time with her. Plus Matt and I are weeding her yard. I spend three hours doing that so hopefully it burned off the calories. I was charging my bugg so I don't know for sure. All I had to eat for the rest of the day was another smore, just to try and get rid of the rest before I come home Tuesday night.


Sorry this is such a blah long post. I wish I had done better Friday at least. Life is going to be hard sometimes and I can't just eat like crap when it is I have to make good choices and think about why I'm eating this or that. I'm definetly a work in progress and I am ok with that

Thought I'd try and cheer this up a bit with a pretty sunset picture...did it work?!

Anyone have any tricks for emotional eating?

Weigh in- 8/23

I wasn't feeling up to posting yesterday so there might just be two posts in my future...we shall see. Anyways firsts things first Wednesday was another busy day at work. Thankfully because it was ot for me and I just did not feel like being there.

Deficit of 1128. I even got a little treat of some french fries. And my grocery list from the ads.

Here's this weeks weigh in - 176.6! Down 2.2 pounds from last week. I'm not sure how much of last week was water weight and such, but I feel very happy with this. I haven't weighed 176.6 in...years.

Exceeded my short term goal of loosing 1 pound a week. Still a little behind on my long term but I think I will be close to meeting it in the end.

  That's it for now. If I feel up to it I will post more later. It's been a little...emotional around here lately.

Busy but nice

Yesterday was a much busier day than the past few work days. I actually got to be on the floor instead of sitting. It was crazy in the morning, settled down around lunch just to get all crazy again at the end. A perfect work day, actually. I like it to go by fast. I like to run around but get a breather. Plus I burn more calories and I don't really get a choice in it ;).

Burned 2835!

Deficit of 1515. I don't like having such a high deficit but I just wasn't that hungry

For some reason this made me laugh, the only thing in a size extra small I will ever wear, even when I reach goal.

At work yesterday we had a patient that loves me. When this patient first came to the hospital a few years back they were not the nicest person and I had to sit with them a lot. This patient eventually became a much nicer person after their health issues got worked out. So every admission after that this person would apologize for being so mean, especially to me. And it was (and is) kinda sweet. It's nice to feel appreciated. Yesterday was this person's birthday so the kitchen made the patient a cake. Well actually they took a packaged Bundt cake and decorated it with fruit and whipped cream. I'm not big into sweets but Bundt cakes are amazing! Especially the red velvet. What's not amazing is the insane amount of calories in one little cake. Literally a days worth. So when this patient insisted I have a piece of their cake, I didn't want to say no.This patient wants to make up so badly how they treated me (totally not their fault, just fyi) and their whole family was there smiling and anxiously looking at me.  So I took a very tiny sliver and enjoyed every bit. Turns out I had nothing to worry about because I was way over my deficit. This whole moment made a busy day even nicer.

The cake before we dug in. I did get a blueberry and a few slivers of strawberry. How cute is this though?!

Cravings and emotions

Yesterday was a hard day for me. I was tired, didn't feel like moving as much as I should. I just felt off. So by the end of my shift I was really just looking forward to my dinner. Which I suddenly remembered was in the car. No way it survived the 104 degree heat. I was bummed. But I quickly remembered the treat I bought the other night. I went to get it from my bag at work and it was gone. My whole bag. Another girl has a similar bag and sure enough hers was there. I was upset but sent her a text and she said sh would bring it back today (which she did). But I wanted my treat now!

My latest obsession

I went to a few stores but these thing are hit and miss...nothing. I so badly just wanted to buy some mojos and chicken tenders. I knew that would blow my calories for the day, so I resisted and settled for a bagel and cream cheese. I am happy I didn't give in. But I really need to work on not letting food (or the lack thereof) control me. I didn't get one meal I wanted or on time; at least I got lunch and breakfast. Some people aren't that lucky and they don't cry about it. I need to be more grounded and realize its just food.

Burned 2137

Total deficit of 1172 and some races

More races

So I looked up some races just to see what was out there and to try and plan out my goals. I'm a little nervous to list them here but understand that this will all depend on how my first 5K goes. This is ambitious and challenging. I want to push myself but I also want to be safe. Anyways here's the breakdown

*October 6- 5K (3.1 Miles)
*November 10- 5K
*Dec 1- 5K
*Dec 15- 12K (7.5 Miles)
*Jan 20- 1/2 Marathon (13.1 Miles)

So it's out there. I'm going to do a little more research on if it's ok to run this much in this time frame or if that even matters. Money is also going to play in this some. Most of the races are under $50 which is good but they add up so I may have to cut some races and just run that mileage. I think this is a great way to work up to a half but I'm also naive when it comes to running in a lot of ways. When I use to run it was in school and we had meets every few weeks but the most I ran ran was 4 miles total in a few different races. I just did what my coach told me to and I did ok.

And a pretty sunset at work. I wish I knew why blogger messes with my pictures like this. The picture looks fine everywhere else. : /

(P.S. my phone is being silly with the pictures so I will fix them tomorrow, we are having a fantastic lightening storm and I would rather watch it as I fall asleep than mess with them. Sorry!)

Revelations

 I met my deficit like I thought I would yesterday. I'm not doing as well already today, I think it had to do with the lack of sleep I got last night. X just did not want to go to bed.I'm trying really hard to do things like march in place and stand but it doesn't seem to be having the same effect as it has in the past. I'm just being really careful with my calories and if I go over a little so be it. I've been over my deficit almost everyday this week.

I am in love with these things. I could probably make them for cheaper but oh well. Only 220 calories.

So I had a total deficit of 1300. And yes that is a book about marathons...

Burned 2480

 I've been thinking about how it is fairly easy for me to reach my deficit goals at work. It's not necessarily.  because I'm more active at work, these past few weeks I've been sitting so I am not really more active. It's not really a lack of temptation. We have a cafeteria, people are always sending us treats or we have a pot luck for something almost every week, it seems. I think what it really is, is that I plan out my meals every day. I mean I have choices for each day so it's not the same thing over and over. And I choose what I'm going to have based on how busy my day is. I don't really do that at home. Unless we're having something special for dinner. I think it would be helpful to me to plan it out. At the very least have dinner planned and organize my breakfast and lunches so I know how many calories are in each, then I can have an idea on what I have for snacks. Plus I won't panic and just eat something, which happens a lot. It's a lot of work, but I am sure it will be worth it. I will work on that throughout the week.

All the stuff I fit in my lunch bag, minus the whiskey. They frown on drinking at work for some reason.

Yep so that's everything for four days, minus my dinners cause they are in the car. Turkey for sandwiches, leftover chicken from dinner and when we went out, peaches, oranges, grapes and cantaloupe, sugar snap peas, broccoli, luna bars and bread for breakfasts and lunch.

Just Another Day

Our date night yesterday was fun. We went out to eat and then saw the Campaign. I think Matt summed it up pretty well by saying it was like Taligada nights, just with politics instead. I think Ted was funnier but then again I do have the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy.

I overate a bit. We left about an hour late than we were planning, just a bunch of things happened and they all added up. I hadn't eaten much because I was planning on using most of my calories on lunch and having a small snack as dinner. As it was I didn't even need that. I ate about 1,400 calories for the whole day. I have no idea what I burned because my bugg didn't charge in time for me to wear it out. We ran around a lot trying to get ready, did some window shopping between the movie and linner. We also went grocery shopping so I feel confident that I at least burned more than I ate.

I would have felt better if I had got my run in but I didn't. Matt's computer wouldn't connect to the internet so I spent a grand total of three hours and thirty-six minutes on the phone between Alien Ware and my ISP. Of course each thought it was the others problem, despite the fact that all the other computers in the house could connect to the inyernet. We ended up having to wipe it and reinstall all the drivers. That was fun but at least it worked.

Today was the first of four days of work. It's always a long day and I seem to never feel full. I am confident that I met my deficit for the day. I sure hope so! Off to sleep I go, gotta get up in 8 hours and 10 minutes (the alarm on my phone tells me how much time until it goes off every time I set it. I have a love hate relationship with this feature) to start this craziness all over again.

Loooong day

Yesterday was such a long day. I started out and did my run much like the day before. I was able to do it two minutes faster though. I felt really winded at the end but happy. I just did mountains of laundry and cleaned which made for a boring day.

Every Friday night my husband is in a hockey game. I go most nights because it's far away and I like to watch. Last night was a late game, 8:30 but I went anyways. Our son fell asleep right before we got there and he did not want to wake up at all. So I spent the whole game in the car with him. Not really what I expected. I did my best not to snack in the car and was pretty successful. I did get a snack on the way home but figured I earned it. I was right because I met my deficit for the day. 

Just my food for the day, deficit of 1210

Burned 2660

Sorry today is so short. I have a date night with my husband tonight. I just hope to not over eat!

Re-evaluating

First things first I did good yesterday. I actually should have eaten more I think, I'm not sure if it's good to have such a large deficit all the time.

If you can't tell (my handwriting is horrible.) I had a deficit 1498.

Burned 2503 total

Anyways I have been thinking a lot the last few days about the changes I'm making food wise. I have been trying to be realistic when it comes to my "diet". I try not to think of it as a diet because that seems temporary to me. I want this to be a while lifestyle change, not just something to loose weight. I know if I just eat a certain way to loose weight I won't ever kept it off. I also know I am going to eat pizza and fast food now and then. It's not ideal. I hope someday I will be eating all homemade food but if I say I won't ever eat these things I will binge when I do. It will be forbibben. I don't want to forbid myself anything, just moderate it.

Some of my weaknesses so to speak are junk food (chips, dips mostly) and soda. Which is why you see chips and dip on my food log yesterday. I dished out a small serving and was totally satisfied with it for the most part. For like 5 minutes after I ate them I had to urge to just go get the bag and container and just eat. I distracted myself by playing with my son. I didn't even think about it again until I went to bed last night.

Soda is a little different. I want it to be more of a special occasions type thing. I immediately went to get one with lunch yesterday, opened it and took a few sips. I realized I wasn't even enjoying it so I put it back in the fridge for my husband later. I got the urge to get one again today but resisted and I don't even want one now. I'm going to save them for times when I really want them and will enjoy them. Otherwise it's so easy for me to keep drinking and drinking them. That is a lot of empty calories.

Fast food, I'm ashamed to admit how much I have eaten in the past. I'm really trying to not eat it as much or at all. I use to get it every night coming home from work. Lately I've been trying to eat before I leave work. It's tricky to pack that much, especially now that I'm staying away from home for my whole rotations. I can't really leave stuff at the house I'm staying at because everything is up for grabs. Anyways I've started eating these healthy choice fresh mixers most nights. I don't now exactly how much healthier than fast food this really is. But they are less calories and I don't feel quiet as blah after eating them. If anyone has some suggestions I'm open to them. I just need things I can keep in my car because I don't really have the space at work to leave 4 nights worth of dinners. These at least don't spoil in the 100 degree weather.

Weigh In- 8/16

Yesterday went pretty much as I expected. I am happy that it was my last day for a few, it was getting pretty emotional. I did find that I was a little more sedentary yesterday than previous days. Luckily I realized it and did some marching in place for the last few hours of my shift and ended up with a deficit.

Just my food log, I didn't really see anything interesting to write notes on. Deficit of 1097 yesterday.

Burned 2477

I didn't weigh in last week so I was a little nervous this week to see what I'd weigh. I can't say I'm surprised at the number.

178.8; a 1 pound gain from two weeks ago.

And I get this mean guy on my bugg when I fall behind. Basically instead of loosing 1 pound a week I've averaged .47 a week. Overall I'd hoped to loose 5 pounds and I've lost 2.

I'm honestly ok with the number. I knew that it would be a gain. But I did my best to turn it around before I got sucked into old habits. I know that there are going to be weeks where I don't do as well as I want. I'm just proud I didn't let it totally drag me down.

I went for a run today. Just wanted to do something light and see how my knee would do. I ran half a mile but only 1/10 at a time. I alternated between running and walking. I woke up in a bad mood and almost didn't go on my run. The only thing that made me go was knowing that it would be so easy to do the same thing tomorrow and Saturday. Then that would be another week down without running. I really need to get on this, I have just under 2 months until my 5k. I know a 5k doesn't seem like much and my only goal is to run the whole thing. I hope I'm not getting above myself, maybe in a month I will be in better shape and I will set a time oriented goal. But for now I just want to run the whole thing.

To Laugh or Cry

I've mentioned before that I live 2/12 hours from where I work. Lately I've been staying with one of my husbands family members to try and save on gas, wear and tear on the car and possible some of my sanity. While it's proving true for the first two, I'm not so sure about the sanity part.

Don't get me wrong, I totally appreciate that they let me stay here and watch my son (I pay them for that but still). It's giving me flashbacks from when I lived in the dorms that one semester. Fighting for shower time, people eating my food and not replacing it, loud antics that go well into the night, ect. It has been trying to say the least. I don't mean to come off rude and uncaring; it's just freakishly hard to live like this after moving into my own home and living like that for the last 6 years or so.  Anyways I'm telling you all this just to tell you what happened to me this morning.

I woke up early because me and one of the people living there both have been needing to shower at the same time. Last night I told him I was waking up early and would be out in time for him to get in around 5:30. So when I woke up, really having to pee, to find the doors to the bathroom locked I was furious. But I figured I'd just take this time to read a little and get in when he got out. Half an hour later he hadn't come out and I didn't hear any sounds coming from the bathroom. It has two entrances and they've locked them both on accident before so I knocked a bunch then used a spoon to unlock the door. And there he was sleeping in the bath tub. Like he had taken a bath and fallen asleep there. His head was above water, don't worry I checked. So needless to say I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to wake him up...talk about awkward but I needed to shower. I ended up just washing my hair in the sink and used some baby wipes to get the areas that needed it most. Hopefully I don't smell. Has anyone else had awkward situations when living with someone else?

Yesterday I did good again. It was much like the day before and much like today is going to be. I have been trying to eat breakfast lately because everyone says it's what is best for my body. I dunno I feel hungrier when I do that but I am going to try to eat within 30 minutes of getting up for the next two or three weeks and see if I notice any difference. Do you guys have this problem?

My food log again, some more random notes and I tried to come up with some ideas for lunch at home.

I find I eat the same thing for lunch over and over again at home. Then I get sick of it, end up eating something really bad. Which makes me say screw it and I eat like crap for the rest of the day. I couldn't really come up with anything though. I will look for more recipes today but if you have any suggestions please let me know. I want to try some new things.

Getting Better

My knee has been tons better the past few days. I just rested and tried to keep the binge eating to a minimum. I got better each day, it helped that I felt like crap from all the junk I had eaten. I stopped wearing my bugg for a few days, I just didn't want to get discouraged. That's when I find my self stuffing my face the most.

I was supposed to go back to work Sunday but got called off for four and eventually all twelve hours of my shift. I took advantage of this and took my son to the "dino" museum. He had a blast and we walked around for close to four hours.It was really fun for both of us. I was worried he wouldn't like it or get bored after 20 minutes. But there were tons of hands on stuff for him. He liked some so much he did them over and over. It was also pretty empty and that helped a lot. I ate well so I'm happy with the day.

T-Rex at the museum.

Work yesterday was hard, unfortunately emotionally and not physically. I actually was sitting most of the day,although I tried to stand and march or just stand a lot. Luckily I met my deficit for the day. I
I'm proud I made good choices and all in all it was probably good for my knee.

Burned 2381

Sorry this one is extra hard to read. It's my food log, a recipe for cookie dough hummus (I think I found on runsforcookies.com but not positive)  and some other random notes. I had a deficit of 1455!

I knew today would be much like yesterday so I planned it out and am sure I will meet my deficit again, we will see tomorrow for sure.

Otherwise that's that. I'm a little nervous putting pictures of me and my son up here so I'm holding off. I dunno if I ever will. I just worry that some crazy person will find him and I dunno...

Oh and this is from my phone so I hope it doesn't look too weird.

Frustration

Yesterday I was really upset with myself. My vacation ends bright and early Sunday morning but I've hardly used this time to really workout. I felt like a huge looser and just upset because I want to get out there and run. I want to make this work so much. Monday I had to get the house in order, I'd planned on doing that Sunday but I took it easy in hopes that my migraine would stay away. That worked but didn't leave much time for a workout since I had a concert Monday night 4 hours away.

Tuesday I woke up so excited, I had my running clothes right next to the bed so I would just get up and go. I went to go wake up my son when I heard a funny noise. I paused and realized the noise was hail. Weird right, hail. Had it just been me I may have run anyways, especially when it stopped hailing and just kept raining. But the last thing I wanted was for my 3 year old to get sick because I took him out in the rain. I did a few little workouts but didn't feel like it did the job.

Wednesday started out like Tuesday except I was exhausted. I got to bed super later, 2 AM and was woken up at 6:30. But I figured I should just go and run or I'd loose my umph and be lazy. I didn't push too hard but still ran a decent amount, half a mile split up into 3 chunks. Not amazing I know but I'm getting there. I felt super sore everywhere after the run and was happy thinking that maybe my workout the day before had done the job. As I was getting out of the shower my leg felt weird, it gave out on me and on the floor I ended up. I sat there stunned and tried to get up but my leg wouldn't support me. This is an awful lot like what happened in high school. My knee was really swollen so I kinda just wall hopped to the couch with some ice.  I spent the rest of the day pretty much like this. I would try every so often to put weight on my leg with no success. I felt desvestated and frustated. I don't remember anything happening on my run, it was fine.

I'm not proud of what happened next, I am a huge emotional eater. I get this thought that the food will make me feel better  and the entire time I indulge I feel horrible. Which makes me eat more. I don't even want to guess how many calories I consumed. A collasal amount.

This morning I woke up and my knee was a little swollen, sore but I would walk. I have no idea what caused this. I'm not quiet sure what to do next. I tried really hard all day not to fall into the same routine as yesterday and eat so much. I was not successful. Not as bad as yesterday but still ate like crap and drank a sad amount of soda.

I'm working hard on finding better ways to make myself happy and to relieve stress. But I will be honest pretty much everything I've done is physical. Running use to be the top one but dancing, boxing and yoga have been good subsittutes when I don't fall into my food trap. I think I need to rest my leg, I can't miss work on Sunday. I will try again next Thursday, my first day off and see how it goes. If this happens again I will see my doctor. I talked to her a bit a few months again about this issue when I started thinking about running again. She took a look at my knee and did a MRI just to be sure and told me she saw no reason I couldn't so I'm hping this was just a fluke.

Sorry to be such a bummer. I'm sure I'm not the only one that has these issues with eating. Does anyone have a good method that helps you? Especially when you're feeling at your lowest?

Migraines

 Every once in a while I suffer from migraines. It is horrible because they tend to stick around for a few days and all I can really do is sit up for a while before I lay down again. Which is pretty much how I spent the last half of Friday and all of yesterday. I'm just happy my husband was home to watch after our son, otherwise it would have been a disaster. Anyways I'm telling you all of this because it makes me super proud that I ran Friday morning/afternoon. I forgot to turn my little run app on so I don't know exactly how far I ran; but it was farther than I have yet. Very specific, I know. I think my new jogging stroller helped a ton. It's a $300 stroller I bough for $30 used. I felt like a super star when I bought it.

Just a few shots of the cows I see when I do run. X loves them.

The new stroller. Love it!

This is from my bugg. I was all alone with my son for the last of Friday so that explains why I have burned so much at the end. The bonus is that I've never burned as much as 8.5 calories per minute before.

In other news I'm feeling much better. However I have no idea what my deficite has been like for the past few days because I've been a bum and just snacked here and there. I'm hoping I just don't gain too much come Thursday. I'm on vacation right now so hopefully I can use that to get some extra workouts in.

It has been crazy

This last week has been crazy, it feels like two in one. I worked a few extra days of overtime trying to save up for Vegas in about two months. I hope we can go and have a great time. My computer has really been acting up lately so the few times I've tried to get on and blog I've given up because it frustrates me so much. Last week I weighed in at 177.4. I lost another pound! And then the chaos started.

Friday I went to the mall with my mom. My brother signed up to be in the Navy and she needed some moral support. I'm very proud of him but he's my mom's youngest so it's hard for to see him growing up. We did tons of walking that day and I burned almost 3000 calories and only took in about 1600. I was feeling so great.

 Then I lost my bodybugg display. I was devastated. I just bought it and they don't come cheap (about $60 since it's constantly on "sale"). It has helped me tremendously in loosing any weight. Without it I don't know how many calories I burn unless I am constantly plugging my bodybugg in. And honestly that is just not possible. I know someday I won't use my bugg. I don't want to wear it forever. But it makes life easier while I'm loosing weight. I will cross the bridge of not wearing my bodybugg when I get to my goal weight.

I tried to stay strong and just stick to around 1400-1600 calories a day. Hoping I'd take in less than I burned. I'm an emotional eater, I'm working really hard to learn when I'm hungry and when I'm just trying to fill a void. The display really helps with that because I can see how many calories I've burned and if I really need food or not. I'm already getting better at identifying if I am really hungry or just sad or angry.

Saturday I took X to my mom's because she was going to watch him this week while I worked. She pretty much unloaded the bombshell that my parents are separating and it's getting pretty nasty. I love my mom and we've always been more friends than mother/daughter so I was the one she vented to about all of this. It's honestly messed with me some.

Tack on my lack of sleep, traveling so far for work after months, stress at work and I became a bowl of emotions. I did pretty well at keeping within my calories for each day though. I am proud of this but I failed at working out at all. I want to take my stress filled energy and use it to workout but I'm having a hard time when I'm so tired after getting only 4 or 5 hours of sleep. I know this is just and excuse, heck maybe I'd sleep better if I did my workouts.

I am on vacation from work so I'm going to really focus on getting into a routine with my workouts. I haven't lost my total drive, I just need to overcome the part of me that says it is just easier to hang at home than go outside. Plus I found my bugg, which makes me want to push that much harder.

This week I gained .4 pounds. Not horrible. Could be due to a million things. All the stress, not eating enough, eating too much, not working out at all. Either way I just hope next week I will be back on track.

Sorry for the scattered, rambling post. I just wanted to touch base but it's late and I am sooo ready for bed. :)