Frustration

Yesterday I was really upset with myself. My vacation ends bright and early Sunday morning but I've hardly used this time to really workout. I felt like a huge looser and just upset because I want to get out there and run. I want to make this work so much. Monday I had to get the house in order, I'd planned on doing that Sunday but I took it easy in hopes that my migraine would stay away. That worked but didn't leave much time for a workout since I had a concert Monday night 4 hours away.

Tuesday I woke up so excited, I had my running clothes right next to the bed so I would just get up and go. I went to go wake up my son when I heard a funny noise. I paused and realized the noise was hail. Weird right, hail. Had it just been me I may have run anyways, especially when it stopped hailing and just kept raining. But the last thing I wanted was for my 3 year old to get sick because I took him out in the rain. I did a few little workouts but didn't feel like it did the job.

Wednesday started out like Tuesday except I was exhausted. I got to bed super later, 2 AM and was woken up at 6:30. But I figured I should just go and run or I'd loose my umph and be lazy. I didn't push too hard but still ran a decent amount, half a mile split up into 3 chunks. Not amazing I know but I'm getting there. I felt super sore everywhere after the run and was happy thinking that maybe my workout the day before had done the job. As I was getting out of the shower my leg felt weird, it gave out on me and on the floor I ended up. I sat there stunned and tried to get up but my leg wouldn't support me. This is an awful lot like what happened in high school. My knee was really swollen so I kinda just wall hopped to the couch with some ice.  I spent the rest of the day pretty much like this. I would try every so often to put weight on my leg with no success. I felt desvestated and frustated. I don't remember anything happening on my run, it was fine.

I'm not proud of what happened next, I am a huge emotional eater. I get this thought that the food will make me feel better  and the entire time I indulge I feel horrible. Which makes me eat more. I don't even want to guess how many calories I consumed. A collasal amount.

This morning I woke up and my knee was a little swollen, sore but I would walk. I have no idea what caused this. I'm not quiet sure what to do next. I tried really hard all day not to fall into the same routine as yesterday and eat so much. I was not successful. Not as bad as yesterday but still ate like crap and drank a sad amount of soda.

I'm working hard on finding better ways to make myself happy and to relieve stress. But I will be honest pretty much everything I've done is physical. Running use to be the top one but dancing, boxing and yoga have been good subsittutes when I don't fall into my food trap. I think I need to rest my leg, I can't miss work on Sunday. I will try again next Thursday, my first day off and see how it goes. If this happens again I will see my doctor. I talked to her a bit a few months again about this issue when I started thinking about running again. She took a look at my knee and did a MRI just to be sure and told me she saw no reason I couldn't so I'm hping this was just a fluke.

Sorry to be such a bummer. I'm sure I'm not the only one that has these issues with eating. Does anyone have a good method that helps you? Especially when you're feeling at your lowest?